Our course text (Chew M.L, Lee K.C, 2006) had listed the types of NVC on pg 20 to 23. Over the internet I had found three interesting and powerful nonverbal actions without saying a word as claimed by the author; gooey eyes, illuminating smile and capitalizing posture. I would like to further discuss on these three interesting ones.
The author described gooey eyes as “peel your eyes off the person like a sticky toffee being lifted from the surface”. I don’t really quite understand how you do that, but the idea is to show your confidence and let the other party interested in you, want to know more about you. We all know that eyes are important part of our body, without eyes, human communication will need to rely on sound, “without good eye contact, communication can be destroyed”. That is very true. In our culture, maintaining a good eye contact and not staring is a skill.
I love Takeshi Kaneshiro eyes, so charming. :)
“A good smile is contagious because it makes the smiling person and the witnesses, feel good.” Smiles are important, it is part of our facial expression and it can affect how good one first impression is. Smiles have different types. Compare a cold turkey smile that doesn’t radiate into other people with a beautiful smile that light-up someone heart. You need to build positive emotions inside yourself which then a true smile will show on the outside.
I love Jennifer Aniston smile, it is always alluring and Barack Obama signature smile. (:
Last but not least on the capitalizing posture. It is as simple as “… lift your chest up. That’s it! Your head will rise, your neck will straighten, your shoulders will drop back, and your back will straighten…” A good posture, I feel can tell a person apart from being attentive to being lazy. So straighten your back now and stop hunching like a tortoise!
NVC can be incorporate into verbal communication and helps liven up things. Of course NVC comes with practice and observing. You can try to observe someone who you look up to and who is famous. Observations will help to notice what works and why it works. So how important do you think NVC plays in your daily interaction with people? Or how can you improve on your NVC skills?
Source: Improving our “Signals” and “Beings”. (15 October, 2008). Retrieved March 9, 2009 from http://www.earthlingcommunication.com/blog/
NVC is clutch. "People hear what they see." Often times, people forget (or more often than not just don't understand) the words (ie ideas) that other people are trying to convey. What will stick is their overall impression/mental image of the speaker. If it looks like the speaker believes what they are saying, then the speaker is more likely to also.
ReplyDeleteHieyo Jane!
ReplyDeleteYour pictures light up your blog!
Interested in someone just by looking? Isn't that a crush?
For me, I find that nonverbal communication do at times tell me more about the person than what he/she is trying to convey verbally.
Having eyes that show interest in you can actually be faked. However, it is harder to fake a illuminating smile and a captivating posture.
There are studies that look into the characteristics of a sincere smile. And having the skin near the end of your eyes crinkling up when you smile is one of it. And I think, having pearly-white teeth does help too. But that's a side-track.
As for a captivating posture, it takes discipline to keep maintaining it actually. And it is hard for a person with inferior complex to have a captivating posture. But hunching definitely does not give a good impression on others.
Oh, do you know that presidential speakers attend courses on how to position their body when speaking? For example, Senior Minister Goh Chok Tong does. And this is how he improves his nonverbal communication over the years.
And so, I think NVC plays a very important role in one's daily interaction with others. Studies have shown in your communication with others, 93% of it is nonverbal communication . It is even more important than verbal communication. If you are interested in nonverbal communication, you can look at http://www.kzneducation.gov.za/manuals/tesm/manuals/e_manual_11/EnglishManual11-Part2Chapter3.pdf.
I improve on my nonverbal communication by noting how others behave and how I feel towards their behaviours. If I feel good, I emulate their behaviours that made me feel good. If I don't, I avoid such behaviours of theirs. Also, I do observe how people react to me nonverbally. If they react to certain actions of mine negatively, I won't commit them again. In short, you can say that I do it by trial and error.
In addition, I also read up on nonverbal communication. The internet has alot of resources. As well as taking up courses, though this is not often. (n_n)
Hi Jane,
ReplyDeleteNVC would only work best if you are feeling what you are trying to express. It is shown in Psychology that for any facial emotion there are three components the voluntary, reflex and autonomic component. Other NVCs might also show the same trend. It is easy to control the voluntary movements but it might be hard to control the reflex movements. An experienced psychologist is possible to tell the difference between a person who is confident to people who tries to be confident in a job interview. Nevertheless, I feel that the difference between trying to adopt in an appropriate NVC when in different situations as the laymen can't tell the difference anyway and the experts might have a better impression of you then those who didn't try.
Very interesting reflection and photos. :) I agree that NVC is very important; in fact, its importance far outweighs that of VC. Often NVC reinforces the message or speaks the opposite. What Kalene says in her comment substantiates that. ;)
ReplyDeleteHey Jane,
ReplyDeleteNice photos you have there!
Like what Kalene and Christine have mentioned, NVC definitely outweighs VC. However, it is kind of sad to note that the tech-savvy society of today has given way to more indirect communication instead of face-to-face one. Few examples will be msn, emails, etc.
This will result in more misunderstandings since NVC is now overloked and difficult conversations is inevitable as touched on by Kalene.
Cheers!
Johny
Hey,
ReplyDeleteI believed that NVC plays a very important role in the daily interaction with people and it's always certain that a smile can lights up the day (:
Of the three points you have mentioned, I think that "illuminating smile" and "capitalizing posture" were more important than "gooey eyes"? Because I feel that an "illuminating smile" and "capitalizing posture" can be achieved more easily than traning your eyes to be like that of Takeshi.
It takes practice to master the skills of captivating your audience and it's not surprising that Kalene mentioned about presidential speakers attending for courses on "how to position their body when speaking". For me, I probably need to remind myself constantly of my NVC and keep in mind not to hunch!
Hi all,
ReplyDeleteMatt you’re right, often people just don’t only listen to the words, they put in their own judgment as well.
Kalene, I think interested in someone also includes crush and also includes someone whom you wan to listen more too. You have bought up an important point too on presidential speakers attending courses to improve their NVC part. This also shows how important NVC is. Yes you’re right in practicing; as I mentioned through practice and observing can help one to improve in NVC.
Bernard, you have also brought up a good point on voluntary, reflex and autonomic components. I guess the most difficult to control is autonomic expression. Some people showed feelings easily through their facial expression. If one able to control that and one’s mindset, it would be good to show a more positive and confident image.
Christine, yes, NVC could either reinforces or speaks the opposite of the message. It’s very important to master NVC and also VC.
Johnny, you are right that there is more indirect communications developing. I do believe that the personal touch could not be replaced by indirect ways. About misunderstanding, indirect ways such as msn could create lot of misunderstandings too.
Yuan and Kalene, I think the author from “Signals and Beings” used gooey eyes was to show the importance of maintaining necessary eye contact and I feel that is important. Not in the way that you are seducing the other party, but in the way that you maintaining the conversation captivatingly. From the three points that I had mentioned, I feel gooey eyes is the most difficult to achieve. Not that if you have big rounded eyes will be at advantage, but the idea of gooey eyes is to radiate the confidence in you.
Thank you for commenting! :)
haha I like your pictures because i like all the characters in them. It is not easy to look genuinely happy and positive when you are down. A great smile and a good posture both require alot of effort! However, one's actions can definitely bring a change within to one's emotions and at the same time affect others too.
ReplyDeleteHi Elethel
ReplyDeleteYou are right; it is difficult to control your expression especially when you don’t feel that way. In addition it can affect how one thinks about you and affect other people feelings too.
Thanks for the comment! :)
Dear Jane,
ReplyDeleteIt was an interesting read! Now I know what type of non-verbal skills I need! Though I do not have gooey eyes like Takeshi Kaneshiro, i can definitely smile more, lift my head and chest up high and be confident!
I once chanced upon this quote: "A smile is a curve that sets everything straight." Therefore, a smile is definitely a good way of non-verbal communication, as it can relieve tension and bridge the gap between two people.
Great post! :)
Hi Min Min
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comment!
That’s an interesting quote, curve but yet sets things straight. :) Definitely, beside the NVC, VC can also helps to relieve tension and substantiate the NVC part, vice versa.